Monday, May 21, 2012

The Great Double T(h)ree

Wow... Its finally here, the great 33...

Alhamdulillah.. Allah has given me another chance in his world to serve him.. I'm not a typical human that go berzerk at the 1st sight of aging.. But I prefer to grow older cause in a way it reminds me that my end is near..

I've been through ups and downs of life for the past 33 years.. My mom, uncles and aunts were reminding me of my 1st few months in this world yesterday and it brought tears to my eyes.. How arwah Tokbak would bring me around on his bike and would just lie sit walk (almost everything with me beside or in his arms).. He was a good man.. Always trying his best to be good to others.. How he cried while holding on to the house's pole as we went back to our house after Ibu completed her pantang.. Then I was told that he kept on driving from Muar with our Tokyang to our home in JB everyweek just to visit me.. Why? cause I was the 1st grandchild of their's.. that is why..

Semoga Allah memberi beliau tempat di kalangan orang-orang mukmin yang beriman dan semoga rohnya adalah antara mereka yang dipanggil Rosulullah di hari kiamat kelak..

Arwah Nenek and Bak on the other hand were totally different.. They were very pampering but spoiled me alot (compared to Tokbak).. They would give me jajan and buy me toys that kept me awake till late night until Ibu got so pissed off.. They would allow me to jump into the river and swim until my body and legs gots bite marks and rashes.. They would allow me to play in their farm and be chased by geese, ducks and chickens.. It was fun!
As I grew older I got over the fact that I was not pamper material anymore.. But that's ok, as long as I have them all with me, everything would be ok.. Then they passed, one by one.. We had Bak's passing when I was in standard 6 and several months later Nenek followed him.. Tokbak in the other hand passed when I was already working my 1st job at NAZA.. I still remember that time.. I went back for the weekend and had a Domestic Inquiry the coming Monday.. The phone rang and I answered, our uncle Ayah Teh called and told us that Tokbak has passed.. I didn't know what to say so I squatted and cried, went to Abah and all off us went to tell Ibu, slowly.. Allah has better plans for him.. I missed him the most..!
Last year Abah was diagnosed with kidney failure and had to undergo dialysis ever since.. I've known Abah as a strong and very firm person, but ever since that he had been very slow and weak.. Without knowing what to do, all I can is just comfort him..

I've always been a reckless person.. I mean, I don't plan but mostly I do.. I like to do things at the very last minute merely because I do things better when I am under preassure.. But the past 1 year or so have thought me more on how to be a human being than the other 32 years of my life.. And Alhamdulillah that 1 year has brought me positively back.. Thanks to my faithful and ever loyal wife and to my parents who believed in me..

Last year, we lost our 2nd son Iskandar Fawwaz but Alhamdulillah, Faleeq has grown to be a handful.. Life must go on but Fawwaz will always remain in our minds as the person that has changed us to be stronger and wilfully person.. This was one of the downs that brought me up..!

Allah has tested me in many ways but his tests had dragged my wife and family along with it.. He definitedly works in wonders.. What He gave He would take it back.. What He press on us is what He knows what's best.. What He has planned for us is definitely better than what we planned and have in mind for ourselves..

Semoga apa yang aku usahakan adalah seperti apa yang Dia mahu utk aku..
Mudah-mudahan apa yang diperkenankanNya adalah apa yang terbaik utk aku dan keluarga aku..


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